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how to deal with a mouse that is obnoxious and sneaky
first, discover that a mouse has gained entry to the under the sink cabinet.
second, realize that mouse has been using under the sink cabinet as its own personal POOP PALACE.
third, clean out nastiness. the under the sink cabinet is NOT a bathroom.
fourth, stuff all possible holes with steel wool.
DONE.
Tweet 48 noteshow to drink out of the faucet
first, wait patiently for someone to turn faucet on.
second, approach slowly. test water temperature.
third, put face under stream of water. lick.
DONE!
Tweet 2 noteshow to hand wash underwear
first, make sure you have zero pairs of wearable underwear.
second, select those pairs with least fabric (ie thongs) that have not been stewing at the sock end of the pile.
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third, procure some soap while the sink fills with hot water.
fourth, slam soap and dirty unders into the hot water in the sink.
let soak for approximately the length of the olympic ice dancing long program broadcast.
fifth, after soaking, drain water and rinse. break out fancy vermont country store thong drying rack. hang up unders with flair.
sixth, cross your fingers that a pair dries by 8 am.
DONE!
Tweet 0 noteshow to clean off gross bug things from baby plant
first, separate baby plant from the main plant. place it in or on sink. bugs. ew.
second, vaguely remember that dish soap kills bugs. put dish soap and water in a cup (preferably one that was in unidentified-able pile the last time you took recycling out).
third, add plant to soapy water. soap it up good.
fourth, rinse. place baby plant on shelf with water. read bedtime story.
DONE!
Tweet 0 noteshow to clean out the kitchen sink drain
first, notice that something smells really bad in the sink. have a few glasses of wine.
second, put dish gloves on. locate sink drain.
third, pick drain thingy up. bang into trash. don’t look, it might make your hurl.
fourth, wash the stuff that didn’t fall into the trash down the drain. (make sure no one is looking.)
fifth, put drain back in sink.
DONE!
Tweet 2 notes
