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    • 03 Jan

      how to change a front door lock (post holiday edition)

      NOTE: this qualifies as post holiday because its a good way to ensure that pesky relatives don’t return and that you don’t get robbed after santa sells your information & key on the black market (how else do you think he pays for all those presents?)

      first, remove the old lock by unscrewing and removing all visible screws and lock parts. there should be only a hole left. 

      PRO TIP: take careful note of how the parts fit together. this will make new lock install a lot less confusing.

      second, take new lock out of box. keep the new and old parts separate. (don’t throw anything away.)

      NOTE: multilock locks are expensive but worth it for the fancy square key technology that never gets stuck. 

      third, recall how the ring thingy fit over the actual key hole thing (aka the cylinder) on the old lock. slide the new ring thingy onto the the cylinder body. this should make it so that you can fit it in through the front of the door and it will sit mostly flush with the door. 

      fourth, holding cylinder in place, switch to the inside view of the door and grab the two smaller screws and the little plate (already installed in pic below) that will keep cylinder from falling out of the hole. 

      PRO TIP: if you don’t have a snazzy assistant to help hold the cylinder in place while you screw the little plate on, you can use duct tape on the front of the door. although be careful that it isn’t the kind that will rip the paint off…

      fifth, once the lock cylinder is secured, find the old inside cover part (the one with the knob and deadbolt). hold the weird little tab that opens up the hole in the center and slide that hole over the stick thing. 

      sixth, post obligatory lewd joke, find the four longer screws that go with the cover. screw them in. 

      seventh, if you live in a sketchy or formerly sketchy area, find the front door cover plate and figure out how to screw/hammer those screws in. don’t forget to secure the screws with the nuts that keep screws in place on the inside of the door. 

      eighth, collect all the random tiny knoby parts, balls, screws that are left over. dump them in the toolbox. dont ask why, just do it. 

      ninth, throw away the old keys and lock the door.  (take that santa!) 

      DONE!

      • #special holiday edition
      • #lock
      • #key
      • #changing locks
      • #fixing
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