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how to cook a whole trout in a pan
first, introduce yourself and give your whole trouts a quick bath.
second, chop up some herbs and garlic and combine with olive oil, salt and pepper.
third, spread this mixture all over the insides.
fourth, put insides down in a fairly hot pan (not actually sure that this is the right sequence but whatever). a few minutes later, flip carefully. it is done when the meat is easy to flake off the skin and/or when it goes from translucent to white.
note: if your pan is not big enough, take a sharp knife and do some head removal.
fifth, serve and eat. yumm.
DONE!
optional step six, clean up.
Tweet 2 noteshow to make oatmeal in a rice cooker
first, break out some old school oatmeal (the kind you can’t microwave), a measuring cup and the rice cooker.
second, read the directions on the can and follow them except for the parts about using a stove/paying attention to the time etc. just use the right ratio of oatmeal to water.
third, hit the start button/switch thing on the rice cooker.
fourth, unless a giant oatmeal goo mess on the cooker and counter is desired, take the cover off the rice cooker once it starts to boil.
fifth, wait for the cooker to tell you its done (google ‘fuzzy logic rice cooker’ if you get bored). if it looks like its getting over done you can pop it early.
sixth, eat the mushy masterpiece.
DONE!
Tweet 8 noteshow to open and eat a crab
first, procure the proper tools.
second, get a crab or two.
third, RESIST the urge to smash crab to bits with mallet.
fourth, after overcoming urge to destroy, carefully remove tail part.
fifth, take top shell off in order to remove gills. crabs don’t need to breath when they are dead.
sixth, break crab in half and rip out the meat with hands and any other utensils within reach. (note: if you are still clean enough to touch a camera at this point then you are doing it wrong.)
seventh, put meat in mouth.
repeat until all gone.
YUM and DONE!
Tweet 6 noteshow to have fun with a banana peel
first, remove banana from peel, preferably by eating it.
second, when no one is looking, put peel in freezer.
third, when it is fully frozen, take it out. have some fun!
fourth, remember to put it back when you are done.
DONE!
Tweet 4 noteshow to make a peanut butter sandwich
first, locate jar of peanut butter.
second, use knife to mix it.
third, give up. look for a less challenging jar.
DONE!
Tweet 2 notes
