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how to make a loud keyboard quiet
first, threaten typer*** and loud keyboard* with forcible ejection out of the nearest window.
sounds like:
second, when (if?) that proves to be a non-viable solution due to laws/permanent screens, consult internet.
third, locate alternate solution** of ”o-rings.” order immediately.
fourth, when the “o-rings” arrive not a moment too soon, create key puller with two paper clips or whatever bendable wire you might have lying around and pull keys off.
note: the spacebar, enter key and most longer keys might be connected by extra stuff so unless you really dislike loud typer for reasons beyond loud typing it is not recommended that you try to take those keys off, but you can shove a bunch of o-rings under to slightly dampen the noise
pro-tip: take keys off one row at a time and keep in order. or don’t and replace out of order. depends on anger level/whether keyboard has letters on it.
fifth, add hot pink o-rings to stub thing on bottom of each key.
sixth, replace keys. enjoy reduction in most annoying noise on planet.
DONE.
*the offending keyboard is a das keyboard one of the loudest most annoying keyboards currently available for purchase in the galaxy. link to sounds-like reference above: http://youtu.be/hJBZPBLNwT8 via awesome post in middle of discussion here: http://forums.beyond.ca/showthread/t-297851.html
**life saving solution sources
how to video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79rWQ-CU9Lw&feature=related
o-rings with picture: http://geekhack.org/showthread.php?6032-Unicomp-Spacesaver-bottoming-out
o-ring source: http://geekhack.org/showthread.php?20857-O-Ring-Rubber-Switch-Dampeners-now-available
***special belated valentines day shoutout to most annoying deskmate ever, without whom this post would not exist. deskmate avoided harm due to laws, permanent screens and general value as a significant other.
Tweet 2 noteshow to change a front door lock (post holiday edition)
NOTE: this qualifies as post holiday because its a good way to ensure that pesky relatives don’t return and that you don’t get robbed after santa sells your information & key on the black market (how else do you think he pays for all those presents?)
first, remove the old lock by unscrewing and removing all visible screws and lock parts. there should be only a hole left.
PRO TIP: take careful note of how the parts fit together. this will make new lock install a lot less confusing.
second, take new lock out of box. keep the new and old parts separate. (don’t throw anything away.)
NOTE: multilock locks are expensive but worth it for the fancy square key technology that never gets stuck.
third, recall how the ring thingy fit over the actual key hole thing (aka the cylinder) on the old lock. slide the new ring thingy onto the the cylinder body. this should make it so that you can fit it in through the front of the door and it will sit mostly flush with the door.
fourth, holding cylinder in place, switch to the inside view of the door and grab the two smaller screws and the little plate (already installed in pic below) that will keep cylinder from falling out of the hole.
PRO TIP: if you don’t have a snazzy assistant to help hold the cylinder in place while you screw the little plate on, you can use duct tape on the front of the door. although be careful that it isn’t the kind that will rip the paint off…
fifth, once the lock cylinder is secured, find the old inside cover part (the one with the knob and deadbolt). hold the weird little tab that opens up the hole in the center and slide that hole over the stick thing.
sixth, post obligatory lewd joke, find the four longer screws that go with the cover. screw them in.
seventh, if you live in a sketchy or formerly sketchy area, find the front door cover plate and figure out how to screw/hammer those screws in. don’t forget to secure the screws with the nuts that keep screws in place on the inside of the door.
eighth, collect all the random tiny knoby parts, balls, screws that are left over. dump them in the toolbox. dont ask why, just do it.
ninth, throw away the old keys and lock the door. (take that santa!)
DONE!
Tweet 20 noteshow to change change clock batteries
first, discover that the clock might need its batteries changed.
second, flip it over, open the battery case and attempt to remove battery.
third, employ random stick items to get battery out.
fourth, test random batteries (why wouldn’t one that expired in 2009 work??). repeat stick/fork/knife method to remove ones from 2009 that don’t work.
fifth, once a functional battery is found, adjust time to correct time.
NOTE: if you’re always late set clock 5-10 minutes fast. it works surprisingly well when you’re only half awake in the am.
DONE!
Tweet 66 noteshow to deal with a mouse that is obnoxious and sneaky
first, discover that a mouse has gained entry to the under the sink cabinet.
second, realize that mouse has been using under the sink cabinet as its own personal POOP PALACE.
third, clean out nastiness. the under the sink cabinet is NOT a bathroom.
fourth, stuff all possible holes with steel wool.
DONE.
Tweet 48 noteshow to get into bed when a cat and dog are already there
first, size up the competition/ welcoming committee.
second, start talking about TREATS and walk out of room. wait for dog to follow.
third, refer to an earlier basic chore: how to get into bed when a cat is already there. follow steps exactly while guarding door to prevent dog from returning.
Note: if dog returns during step three, repeat step two but with more treats.
DONE!
Tweet 15 notes
