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how to make rouladen (translated: meat rolls)
first, beat the meat vigorously with a wooden mallet. or anything hard really. keep at it until meat is seriously flat.

second, pile on the fillings. bottom layer is mustard. then chopped up pickles! then chopped up onions!

DO NOT forget the bacon.

third, roll up the meat. secure with toothpicks. (if feeling extravagant/rebellious, don’t break toothpicks in half, thus using twice as many toothpicks as technically necessary.)

Note: for the amateurs out there, there is never an appropriate time to comment on the suggestive shape of the rolled meat that will be supper so don’t even try.
fourth, brown the rolls of meat in hot pan. transfer to the baking pan. remark that they probably won’t be any good because there aren’t any decent butchers in the state.

fifth, put pan of rouladen into oven to bake for a while, about an hour.

sixth, make some gravy. [separate post to come]
seventh, serve and eat the rouladen!
DONE! and YUM!