January 2011
5 posts
9 tags
how to exercise a "large-boned" cat
first, purchase a fancy toy. preferably one that makes squeaky noises that will at least drive the humans crazy.
second, locate the cat.
third, introduce toy to cat. wait for joy to commence.
fourth, be persistant.
fifth, be really persistant.
sixth, DONT GIVE UP!
seventh, give up. put cat outside. hope that he burns some calories sitting two inches from the door.
DONE?
8 tags
how to change a light bulb
first, notice that light does not turn on when you hit the appropriate switch.
second, get a stool or a pile of something to stand on. remove light cover to figure out what kind of bulb is behind it.
third, try to reach bulb. stand up really tall. reach again. discover inability to overcome shortness issue.
fourth, make someone taller unscrew bulb and put new bulb in.
fifth, test out...
6 tags
how to vacuum
(semi-answer to a question from KBM)
first, purchase vacuum bags.
second, unearth vacuum. open top.
third, stuff bag in. this isn’t rocket science.
fourth, plug the sucker in and get to work.
TIP: focus on key areas/issues.
1. large to medium cobwebs (strap on that extender tube piece)
2. general floor area
2. under the couch (really only necessary if grownups/mothers are...
15 tags
how to make rouladen (translated: meat rolls)
first, beat the meat vigorously with a wooden mallet. or anything hard really. keep at it until meat is seriously flat.
second, pile on the fillings. bottom layer is mustard. then chopped up pickles! then chopped up onions!
DO NOT forget the bacon.
third, roll up the meat. secure with toothpicks. (if feeling extravagant/rebellious, don’t break toothpicks in half, thus using twice as...
9 tags
how to get information from a floppy disk in 2010+
first, have guys at local tech shop quote upwards of 100 bucks to transfer info. from 10 floppys to a usable device.
second, locate a computer with a floppy disk drive. hint: try old people.
third, turn computer on. set up materials.
fourth, insert floppy into to floppy disk drive.
fifth, when weird noises have stopped, transfer files from floppy to something normal like a thumb drive....